So how do you want to go?
I’d like to pass away at home, in my own bed, surrounded by loved ones. I can see it now: I’m about to share the secret of life with them. They lean in real close to hear my whispered wisdom, but I fart instead and keel over with a horrific scream. Or maybe while hang gliding.

Will you be going to heaven or hell?
I don’t know. That question’s like going to a restaurant that offers only two options: filet mignon or burning cow shit. I know what sounds better to me, but I think I’ll eat somewhere else.

You started on Disney. What character would you least want to be stuck with in the afterlife?
What?

Your final request to Mark Wahlberg: a live performance of “Good Vibrations” or an autographed Calvin Klein poster?
That poster is still considered currency in most countries.

If you got your hands on $15 million a day before you died, what would you spend it on?
Conquercancer.org. My auntie Susan started it. She’s a hero.

Would you trust your Six Feet Under costars with a funeral?
No. They’re fucking actors.

What woman did you always want to sleep with?
Bugs Bunny in drag.

Contraband is a remake. What’s one thing you wish you could do over?
If my life could be done over, I would spend less time as an older person wishing it could be done over.

What’s one contraband item you’d try to smuggle into the afterlife?
A Fleshlight.

What’s one illegal thing you wish you could do before you die?
Chew gum in Singapore.

You’ve done a lot of stunt work. Which job has brought you the closest to death?
A movie set is surrounded by professionals to ensure that every safety precaution is adhered to. It’s when I’m researching a job and no one’s around to say no…

Do you have any deathbed confessions?
I loved every minute.

Got any last words?
“Did you see that?”